Manhattan’s littlest, cutest, most adorablist army

WE DON’T REALLY LIKE MAKING FUN OF KIDS, BUT WITH A WAR ON, and up to 64,000 Iraqi civilians dead as a result of the American invasion, and another war in Afghanistan, and you know, the history of civilization being more or less defined by war, war, and more war, and the world facing nuclear annihilation, we find an organization that trains kids at an early age to dress in army uniforms, march around, and participate in annual sham battles at Camp Smith in Peekskill, NY to be more than a bit grotesque.

Such are The Knickerbocker Greys, an organization for kids ages 6 to 16 that has been around since 1881. The 21 Upper East Side cadets (was 200 between the world wars) drill in the old Seventh Regiment Armory on Park Avenue, learn the importance of walking erect and referring to filled soda glasses as charged cannons.

According to the Grey’s website,

The main focus of each weekly meeting is to learn traditional armed forces marching and drill routines, but cadets learn much more than the drill itself. Greys learn discipline and the habits of orderliness, and from that they develop leadership capabilities themselves. How to motivate others, deal with subordinates firmly but respectfully and command a group of peers.

“Dealing with subordinates firmly but respectfully” — has a certain ring to it. Guess this was where Grey’s most famous alumnus, “Preppy Killer” Robert Chambers, learned how to strangle 18-year-old Jennifer Levin in Central Park on August 26, 1986, when, according to Chambers, she got frisky during sex. Chambers, we may remember, got bail and while awaiting trial, was videotaped at a party strangling a Barbie Doll till its head popped off, gleefully exclaiming, “Oops, I think I killed it!”

– Swapon Nath