The only reason we have any use for Alex Rodriguez (pictured with his steroid bag) is that he messes with Jeter’s head, and the more messing with Jeter’s head, the better off the world will be. Now comes word that Rodriguez, like Madonna and Bette Midler and Jerry Seinfeld and a billion other celebrities, has a new children’s book coming out, called “Out of the Ballpark.”
Oh, the creativity. We picture A-rod burning the midnight oil, hunched over his computer writing and rewriting each sentence till the prosaic rhythms ring with diamond clarity.
Rodriguez, through his publicity machine (let us not forgot that main reason the Mets didn’t buy him a few years back was because he wanted them to pay for his own P.R. team) announces that he wrote this book all by his very own self. And after reading the synopis, we believe him.
He also says that the book is about someone like himself--an underdog.
What amazes us are not the banalities that Rodriguez and his people spew, but that newspapers actually report it.
Let’s get something straight. Writing a good children’s book is harder than writing a good adult book. The people who’ve done it consistently — E.B. White and William Steig to name just two — are geniuses.
If he goes to the Mets, we’re moving to Argentina.