Two things about Molly Ivins, who passed today of cancer at 62, made us grit our teeth in envy — she was tall and she was funny. In astonishing contrast to the self-important boobs and sheep-like prigs who pretend to report the news these days, she was also fearless. Technically, her beat was Texas, so we are breaking our own NYC-only rule by writing this; but Dubya Bush, the guy who has brought the mid-east to the brink of catastrophic civil war, comes from her state. And Molly warned about him early, often, and always loud.
But what we really loved about Molly Ivins was that she wasn’t afraid to mock. She took to heart the journalistic maxim to comfort the powerless and make the powerful uncomfortable. And, unlike her many wise-cracking, completely unfunny contemporary columnists, her jokes accentuated global horror.
We could give a billion quotes to honor her, but we’ve chosen a few gems on Bush Jr. and Sr., followed by something from her final column:
“Everyone knows the man has no clue, but no one there has the courage to say it. I mean, good gawd, the man is as he always has been: barely adequate.” [on George W. Bush]
“Let me say for the umpteenth time, George W. is not a stupid man. The IQ of his gut, however, is open to debate. In Texas, his gut led him to believe the death penalty has a deterrent effect, even though he acknowledged there was no evidence to support his gut’s feeling. When his gut, or something, causes him to announce that he does not believe in global warming — as though it were a theological proposition — we once again find his gut ruling that evidence is irrelevant. In my opinion, Bush’s gut should not be entrusted with making peace in the Middle East.”
“Last week, I began a sentence by saying, “If Bush had any imagination …” and then I hit myself. Silly me.”
[On then-candidate George W. Bush, in a 2000 book on his "short but happy political life"]
“If, at the end of this short book, you find W. Bush’s political resume a little light, don’t blame us. There’s really not much there. We have been looking for six years.”
[On George W. Bush (and George H. W. Bush)]
“If you think his daddy had trouble with “the vision thing,” wait till you meet this one.”
[Molly Ivins quotes George W. Bush in one of his "Bushisms"]
“What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think vulcanize society. So I don’t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that’s my position.”
[On then-President George H. W. Bush]
“Personally, I think he’s further evidence that the Great Scriptwriter in the sky has an overdeveloped sense of irony.”
(from her last column, January 11, 2007):
“We are the people who run this country. We are the deciders. And every single day, every single one of us needs to step outside and take some action to help stop this war. Raise hell. Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous. Make our troops know we’re for them and trying to get them out of there.”
And, in the interest of fairness, here is a link to a year-old column explaining why she won’t support Hillary Clinton for president.
As Auden said of Yeats: “Earth, receive an honored guest.”