SO CHANCELLOR JOEL KLEIN FAILED TO STOP KIDS FROM USING CELL PHONES IN SCHOOLS; NOW HE’S READY FOR PLAN B.
The Post reports the new plan will allow students to check phones at the door, where they will be stored in lockers for twenty-five to fifty cents a day, a compromise between Klein’s wishes for an orderly school system and parents’ wishes for safety.
Says David Cantor, Klein’s shockingly eloquent press secretary, “If we find this addresses the problems parents have with the ban and does so in a safe way for the kids, then we would consider doing this system wide.”
While we wring our hands at the injustice of Cantor not being in the front ranks of civil rights leaders, we have two questions:
1. How did kids survive kidnappers, sex molesters and other bad guys before cell phones?
2. Do Chancellor Klein and Simpsons boss Charles Montgomery Burns look exactly alike, or did we eat too many mushrooms on New Year’s?
-- Tatyana Gimelshteyn