Wet Dream

tunphoto7a-1.jpgNEXT TIME YOU SEE A SAND HOG, one of the guys saving us from the worst environmental disaster in history, give him a big Recharger hug.

Two water tunnels have been quenching us since 1917 and 1936, respectively, about 1.2 billion gallons of water daily. But the pipes and valves have seen no repairs since the 1930s--you can’t just off the water to make repairs.

Since the 1970s, when construction began on Water Tunnel No 3, the genormous project designed to save us from catastrophe, sand hogs have feverishly dug twenty five miles of the planned 60, and will finish by 2020. Fourteen miles of tunnel are already in use. Unlike the first two tunnels, Tunnel No 3 has valves in accessible chambers; ergo, if repairs are needed, we won’t need to build Tunnel No 4.

Sand hogs use the same drill machine their European brethren used for The Chunnel between England and France, the difference being that our machine drills deeper—250-800 feet below see level. The monster apparatus was lowered in parts and assembled on the bottom. With it, workers can dig up to 50 feet a day, twice the rate of the old machines.

By the time it’s done, the tunnel will cost $6 billion, the most expensive project in the city’s history—not including the 24 dead sandhogs—smashed by falling rock or crushed by machinery, about two for every mile. Those who survive earn more than 100 grand per year.

-- Kate Broika

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